Being a Mother – Being Me
We were taking pictures of Lindsay’s Faith for her Lindsays Faith ~ Mustang for America’s Favorite Trail Horse page not long before auditions for that show (AFTH). FK was about 6 months old and wanted to nurse. So we stopped and that is what we did 🙂
I was not one of those girls that grew up just waiting for when I would get to be a mother. I was one of those girls that grew up dreaming of all the amazing things I was determined to do with a horse. What I did not know back then was how all of this would be brilliantly tied in together.
Being the partner my horse deserves has been the best preparation for being the mother my child deserves … I could list a hundred ways – but here are a few …
1 – To reward the beginning of a thought, not the final action. Horses have shown me time and again how much MORE they will offer in future ‘final actions’ when I do this.
2 – To be a trustworthy partner. This is so simple – if I say I am going to do it – I do it. Period.
3 – To listen to the emotion (Energy/Mind) behind the behavior (Body response to E/M). This is so HUGE and always guides me the best way to help a horse or my child.
4 – To mirror what I desire the horse/child to do in my own B ME (Body, Mind, Energy) first. They both automatically reflect my stride – in the way I walk and the way I talk.
5 – To treat the other horse/child as a valued, intelligent being. (This has been an easy one b/c I have always felt horses had a divine connection that we can all learn from and now I know children do too)
6 – To be fully present in my time shared with horse/child. This means to release all worries/commitments of the outside world and this is one of my hardest ones – but horses have proven to me what a necessity it is and I know it is even more important to my relationship with my daughter.
The amazing thing I have discovered is that being a mother does NOT at all mean that I stop being a horsewoman .. or a clinician .. or an artist … or a writer … or any of the other hats I wear. Being a mother only adds to the depth of my soul and gifts me the ability to tap into who I am with even more clarity than before.
We were blessed to win AFTH AFTER FK was born – we we blessed to win Res. Champion SEMM 2012 with Silver Lining AFTER FK was born, we were blessed to have a Breyer created of our Mustang AFTER FK was born, we were blessed to publish children’s books AFTER FK was born. … I will never view my life as being put on hold for my children, my life is filled up higher and spills over my glass because of them.
I do not feel that everyone is supposed to have a child and if you do not desire to – by all means do NOT do it. … We are all put here to walk a unique path and mine is not anyone else’s – but if you feel that being a mother has taken precedent over following your dreams I highly suggest you take a step to chase those dreams anyway. How else is your child supposed to know that she should chase her own dreams if you do not chase yours?
… and in regards to breast feeding, I am not at all here to attempt to make anyone feel less than adequate if you did not breast feed your child – but I am here to encourage those needing encouragement – I, myself, breast fed until I was 4.5 years old (YEARS – not months !) and my daughter did too! This is what our breasts are for – and it does not take away from intimacy with your spouse – my relationship with my husband has flourished as a result of my openness with our daughter and with myself. For a child to breast feed until 4 years is actually the ‘norm’. in many highly developed countries. … You can think of it what you wish, but I know for a fact it made me healthier, happier and more confident as an adult and it is a gift I will pass along to all my children, just as my mother offered this gift to me. Anyone that is needing support in this – I am HAPPY to talk to you!
I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with FK’s sister! Words cannot express how excited I am about the delivery (that will have to be another post!) – but for now I am soaking up the gift of this miracle wiggling around in my belly and basking in the beauty of how everything in my life is so brilliantly intertwined. From wild horses to angelic babies.
Much love to all.
MMJ – I AM HERD